Taking the Initiative

One of my problems is that I have a lot of good ideas, but never take the initiative to carry them out and make something from them. A couple months ago I made some bad decisions which left me in a terrible slump. Even though I have changed my direction from my previous poor judgment, I recently discovered that have to make a few more drastic choices that get me out of it and lead me to become more of who I want to be.

One of the traps I have fallen in is my lack of motivation and fall to complacency. I really cannot stand to be complacent so I am taking the initiative to make some drastic moves in my life and get out of this. If this includes getting a second job to make my dreams happen, so be it.

I am really excited to see what new opportunities this will bring in my life in the next few years...

On another note, I have decided to take my raw lifestyle blogging to a different site. If you are interested in keeping tabs on it you can find it here.

Tagged

Favorite person outside of family: Katie Grandon(picture was taken in Oct. 2004)! She has been there for me through so much... my parent's divorce, my first sort of "boyfriend", my losing of my job, my support for stupid decisions and so much more... Kaneischa too! She has been a great role model to me!

Quirks about me: I get obsessed with things easily... like Gray's Anatomy for example. I like pickles. In fact, I like them a little too much but don't allow myself to eat them because of the salt content, and I ate cat food as a child... and liked it!

How would the person who loves you the most describe you in 10 words: weird, fun, ridiculous, random, tall, green eyes, motivated, obsessive, and spontaneous.

Any regrets in life: one, but I don't know if I would call it a regret now because of the lesson learned. I'm not going to say what it is...

Favorite charity/cause: Save the Trees

Favorite blog recently: This one

Worst job I ever had: The daycare. People don't know how to discipline their children these days... that, and I was really young at the time and had a lot to learn.

Favorite Bible Verse: I am going with the Pearl of Great Price, Moses 6:27-32. I have a lot of favorites but the story of Enoch. In verse 31 where Enoch is humbled and asks the Lord why he would chose hime to bring about his work when there are so many other more qualified. I like this because I can pretty much relate to this in so many aspects of my life.

27 And he heard a ^avoice from heaven, saying: ^bEnoch, my son, ^cprophesy unto this people, and say unto them—Repent, for thus saith the Lord: I am ^dangry with this people, and my fierce anger is kindled against them; for their hearts have waxed ^ehard, and their ^fears are dull of hearing, and their eyes ^gcannot see afar off;

28 And for these many generations, ever since the day that I created them, have they gone astray, and have ^adenied me, and have sought their own counsels in the dark; and in their own abominations have they devised murder, and have not kept the commandments, which I gave unto their father, Adam.

29 Wherefore, they have foresworn themselves, and, by their oaths, they have brought upon themselves death; and a ^ahell I have prepared for them, if they repent not;

30 And this is a decree, which I have sent forth in the beginning of the world, from my own mouth, from the foundation thereof, and by the mouths of my servants, thy fathers, have I decreed it, even as it shall be sent forth in the world, unto the ends thereof.

31 And when Enoch had heard these words, he ^abowed himself to the earth, before the Lord, and spake before the Lord, saying: ^bWhy is it that I have found favor in thy sight, and am but a lad, and all the people ^chate me; for I am ^dslow of speech; wherefore am I thy servant?

32 And the Lord said unto Enoch: Go forth and do as I have commanded thee, and no man shall pierce thee. Open thy ^amouth, and it shall be filled, and I will give thee utterance, for all flesh is in my hands, and I will do as seemeth me good.

"Guilty Pleasure": 1) Listening to love songs when I'm feeling loney 2) Making cooking dough and eating it in one sitting 3) Daydreaming of famous people that I will never meet.

Got any confessions: I hit a cat once when I was 16. It ran in front of my car and I had no time to stop. After I heard and felt the thunk , I looked in my rear view mirror hoping to see it running off alive, but instead I saw nothing. Not even the squished remains on the road. I drove for about 5 minutes feeling like I was going to throw up because of my guilty conscious of possibly killing a cat. I, then, stopped in the Vancouver mall parking lot, put the car in park, and proceeded to get on my hands and knees in search for the cat still stuck to the bottom of my car. No luck. To this day I have no clue where it went or even if it lived after that....

If you HAD to spend $1000 on yourself, how would you spend it? I would spend it on the stuff I already have spent on myself stuck on that ridiculous credit card of mine!

Favorite thing about your house: My bedroom and how comfortable it is!

Least favorite thing about your house: The kitchen when it stinks from dirty dishes or trash.

One thing you are good at: Making a decision, planning it in 5 minutes or less, and running with it...

One thing you could change about your circumstances: To get out of debt so I can go to school!

Who would you like to meet someday? The Prophet and Michael Jackson

Who is your real life hero: My Daddy. He is such a good person... all the time. (Picture is of my Daddy and his wife Sharon... who is also amazing!)

What is the hardest part about your job? Finding time to get everything done!

When are you most relaxed? My weekends when I don't have a care in the world!

When are you most stressed? Mondays and Fridays always seem to be the busiest at my work which creates insanity for me.

What can you not live without? My pillow, my scriptures, and my vitamins.

Why do you blog? This is the only chance I get to be heard and not have any interruptions. Plus it gives me time to organize my thoughts and sort through things...

Who are you tagging?: Kaneischa

Rules:

1. Answer the questions

2. Link back to whoever tagged you

3. Tag eight bloggers to do the same

Dream

I had a dream last night that my mom got in a really bad car accident. I went to the hospital to see her and found that she was in critical condition in a coma and on life support. I had an errie feeling throughout the entire dream. The doctors told me that they wanted to take her off life support because she wasn't going to make it. I told them there was no way I was going to let them take her off... at least not until I know for sure that she would not make it. For some reason I had this feeling that she wouldn't make it but I still had this incredible amount of hope that she would...

Do you think this means that there is something in my life that I have an incredible amount of hope for that I know will never happen but I keep holding onto it? I am a firm believer in dreams and that they hold a lot of meaning.

This scares me...

The Northwest

So... I just wrote a blog about my raw food ways, but I have failed to give you an update on the trip from Labor Day weekend to see my family and switch vehicles with my Daddy.

Last week I decided that my car was not going to last much longer since the gears kept having issues, not to mention a few other faulty things. Katie and I drove up to Washington/Oregon last Friday in hopes to have a couple days to spend time with our families, and for me to switch cars with my Dad. The drive was super long and I am okay with not having to drive that again for a very long time... unfortunately, I will be making that trip again in about two months when I return the truck.

Here are a couple pictures to illustrate our little vacation...

One of the last days in the little yellow Volkswagen GTI. This is us leaving Utah Friday afternoon.
Quick Pose!

Wake up early and eat breakfast from the berry bushes outside...

Nephews are fun...

Saturday Market down town Portland. Yes, that is me standing in front of the tie-dye stand since Katie thinks I need to become a 100% hippie due to my raw foodist ways. Sorry, but I don't think I can bring myself to wear this stuff even though I love the colors...

Things you find downtown Portland. Put money in the box to make her move...

I didn't take very many pictures with the family, but here is a shot I took on the way home without her knowing...hahaha

Raw in the Making...

I woke up today feeling good! Tom Hanson, a friend in the ward, came by last night with a green drink for Katie and me to try. Apparently he has been drinking this every morning for the past couple days in hopes to better his health. Green drinks usually consist of raw spinach, raw kale, assortment of fruit, avocados and pretty much anything else you would like to throw in the blender that you find laying around your kitchen. These drinks are so full of nutrients from the raw vegetables and fruits that they contain. Digestive enzymes are crawling all throughout them... sounds gross huh? This concoction of green goodness gives your body the nutrients it needs and can do a number to your body, including that of subsiding hunger.

Jaime, my bosses wife who is also my mentor for my raw foodist conversion, has been telling me to have a green drink in the morning to kick off the day. It has been difficult for me to put a drink with pureed vegetables mixed with fruit, in my mouth in the form of a breakfast, let alone any meal. That was definitely not a type of food I would have eaten in my younger years and has taken some real coaching in my mind to convince myself that it is okay to eat. Jaime swears that when she drinks her green drink in the morning, her life is transformed. She has tons of energy, not to mention less cravings throughout the day.

Today, Tom brought us another concoction of a green drink for us to try. I have been drinking it for an hour now. I can't say that it is gross, but it is not something I am used to. It mainly tastes like fruit with a hint of green leaves. I will have to conjure up my own green drinks for the week and see the difference it makes in my life. So far it has been a positive experience.

I must admit that I have not been hungry in my raw foodist ways. In fact, I was just realizing today that I have not had any cravings. I have eaten some foods that were not raw, but I do believe it is mainly out of habit and convenience rather than a craving fix. I did buy a non-dairy type of ice cream on Friday night to take to my cousin's house since I knew that they were going to Cold Stone. I didn't want to falter so I figured it would be a good idea to bring something that I can eat. The ice cream I ate was not raw, however, it did not contain dairy which is something I am trying to avoid. I am still not 100% raw, however, I am on my way to become a complete raw foodist.

I read in a book, The Raw Foods Resource Guide by Jeremy Safron that I picked up from the library yesterday, that for an individual on a standard American diet, it will take 3 years to become 100% raw. For me, I figure it will take 4 - 5 years since my American diet was a little crazier than the standard one. This is an exciting change, yet very much a challange. One thing that keeps me exstatic is going to the farmer's market on Saturdays and buying fresh produce. The thought of consuming fresh organic vegetables and fruits gives me a jump start for the week. I like to think of the different foods I can prepare with them which keeps me from wanting to give in to my old ways.

Yesterday, at the Farmer's Market, I met a local raw foodist who has classes on how to prepare raw foods. She is not 100% raw, and in fact eats meat and dairy once in a while, but she definitely eats mostly raw foods. I plan to take some of her classes and learn of new ways to prepare my own foods...

I'm starting to wonder if I should make a separate blog for my raw foodist journey and keep this one as my normal life for my random thoughts and tangents similar to the one I wrote last night...

Non-Boyfriends

= a male friend that is committed to do everything with a girl, who holds feelings of interest in this specific individual, except the romantic stuff. The male friend does not necessarily have to know of the girl's interest in him to classify as a non-boyfriend.

A few years ago, when I lived with my dear friend Kapiesh, she experienced the tragedy of having a non-boyfriend. I will not say that it was ever anticipated, but rather a circumstance that took place. She had a male friend, of whom she found romantic interests in, who she spent an abundance of time with. It was one of those situations where people always thought they were dating due to the fact that they were always together. They never ended up dating, though a few discussions of her feelings for him were addressed.

I, too, have discovered myself falling deep into the trap of a non-boyfriend. I never thought that I would have one, but to my disadvantage I do. They suck! Sometimes I hate using the word "suck" but there is no better way to describe it. You spend time with them and feelings start to build. You spend even more time with them and gain this desire to be with them 24/7. Then, for whatever reason on his end, you realize that it will never happen between the two of you. It only makes sense to distance yourself, so what do you do? Back away right? Find some space to get over it. It's hard, but it's the only way you can divert your feelings or at least make them subside without making a complete fool of yourself and engage in a conversation with the non-boyfriend about the feelings you have that will never be reciprocated. It is a sad situation, but I can bet that it happens to almost every girl...

The worst part of this situation is, of course, when you finally feel you are making progress in subsiding the feelings, you happen to see him again. It isn't a normal meeting, in fact, he ends up doing or saying something that makes all feelings resurface and you can't help but fall back into the trap....

Non-boyfriends SUCK!